Introduction: The Invisible Faces of Grief
You might not immediately recognize it as grief.
It doesn’t always come in floods of tears.
It doesn’t always announce itself with sorrow or visible sadness.
Sometimes grief wears other faces:
- Anger that erupts without warning during the day.
- Restlessness that keeps you pacing the house at night.
- An aching resistance to sleep, even when you’re exhausted.
You might find yourself lashing out at your partner, snapping at strangers, or brimming with irritation over the smallest inconvenience.
You might dread being alone with yourself at night, reaching for distractions rather than facing the heavy silence.
If this sounds familiar, know this: You are not broken. You are grieving.
Grief doesn’t only emerge from fresh loss.
It also arises from old wounds — unattended grief for childhood neglect, complicated parental relationships, and all the moments your pain went unseen.
When there was no safe place to cry, no witness for your sadness, grief didn’t disappear.
It waited — stored deep in your body, hidden under layers of survival and coping.
Now, as life slows down — perhaps after becoming a parent yourself, or simply as the pace of your life changes — that buried grief is stirring.
It’s asking, finally, to be felt.
In this article, we’ll gently explore:
- Why grief so often masks itself as anger and insomnia,
- How the body carries old wounds long after the mind forgets,
- And how small somatic practices and connection to nature can help grief move through you without overwhelming your life.
You are not alone on this journey.
And healing doesn’t require force — it requires gentleness, patience, and a willingness to listen to the body’s silent language.
Why Grief Can Show Up as Anger and Sleep Resistance
When we think of grief, most of us imagine visible mourning — crying, sadness, withdrawal.
But grief, especially complicated, long-buried grief, often doesn’t look like that at all.
Instead, it shapeshifts into emotions and behaviors that seem \”irrational\” or disconnected from loss itself.
Anger as a Mask for Grief
Psychologically, anger is often a secondary emotion.
It acts like a shield, protecting us from feelings we have learned — consciously or unconsciously — are too painful, too dangerous, or too overwhelming to face.
In childhood, if sadness was met with:
- Indifference (\”You\’ll be fine, stop crying.\”)
- Shame (\”You\’re too sensitive.\”)
- Punishment (\”Go to your room if you’re going to act like that.\”)
…then our nervous system learned to redirect sadness into anger.
Anger feels powerful where sadness feels vulnerable.
It gives a sense of control where grief brings helplessness.
In adults who experienced emotional neglect (CEN) or trauma, this protective pattern can persist for decades, especially when new losses, life transitions, or emotional awakenings stir the original, unprocessed pain.
Thus, your anger is not random.
It is the body\’s desperate attempt to keep you safe from feelings it once thought would destroy you.
The Restlessness of a Heart That Fears Feeling
Nighttime presents a paradox:
- The world quiets down.
- Responsibilities fall away.
- There is finally space to hear yourself.
And for many people carrying unprocessed grief, that silence feels unbearable.
Without distractions, the body begins to whisper — or sometimes shout — the truths it has been holding in.
You might find yourself:
- Unable to sit still, pacing the rooms or scrolling endlessly.
- Inventing small tasks to stay busy (reorganizing shelves, cleaning late at night).
- Resisting sleep, feeling a vague dread of closing your eyes.
From a nervous system perspective, this is a form of self-protection.
If you slow down enough to feel, you might be flooded with emotions you don’t know how to handle.
And so your mind and body, trying to be helpful, keep you in motion.
But motion without presence deepens exhaustion.
And the feelings remain trapped, cycling in the body, seeking an exit.
The Body Remembers: Grief as a Somatic Experience
Grief doesn’t only live in the mind or the heart.
It anchors itself in the tissues, the muscles, the breath, the bones.
When grief goes unprocessed — when it is denied, minimized, or rushed through — it does not disappear. It settles in the body.
How Grief Is Stored Somatically
You might notice:
- A tight jaw that you can’t seem to unclench.
- A heavy chest that makes deep breathing feel unfamiliar.
- Stiffness or restlessness in the legs or arms.
- Chronic tension in the shoulders, hips, or neck.
- Digestive issues, headaches, or chronic fatigue.
These are not “random” physical problems.
They are expressions of grief that had no words, no tears, no ritual — and so they became sensations.
Trauma research (such as the work of Bessel van der Kolk, Peter Levine, and others) shows that the nervous system \”remembers\” experiences that the conscious mind may not even fully acknowledge.
Unfelt sadness becomes tension.
Unexpressed longing becomes shallow breath.
Unresolved loss becomes a body that feels either numb or chronically on edge.
The Importance of Moving Through, Not Just Talking About It
While cognitive understanding (thinking and talking) is valuable, it often isn\’t enough to truly release grief that has become somatic.
The body needs a different kind of invitation:
- To move in ways that feel organic and healing.
- To shake out the held energy.
- To breathe where breath was once constricted.
- To rest in stillness without fear.
This is where somatic yoga and nature connection become more than “nice self-care tools.”
They become essential medicines, offering the body a way to safely remember, express, and finally release the grief it has been carrying.
Why Somatic Yoga Helps Release Buried Grief
When grief becomes lodged in the body, traditional “exercise” often isn’t enough.
It’s not about pushing harder, stretching farther, or achieving a physical goal.
It’s about reconnecting with the body’s natural rhythms, its frozen places, its silenced cries.
Somatic yoga is different from mainstream yoga classes focused on performance or aesthetics.
It’s slow, mindful, intuitive — designed to create a bridge between your conscious awareness and the deeper layers of bodily memory.
How Somatic Yoga Supports Grief Healing
- Slows down the nervous system:
Gentle movements, long-held poses, and soft breathing signal to the body: “You are safe now.”
This helps thaw the chronic freeze response often connected to long-ignored grief. - Creates space for emotions:
When you move or rest with presence, emotions that have been locked away often surface — not explosively, but like a wave you can stay with and breathe through. - Restores felt sense of self:
Grief often leaves people feeling fragmented, disconnected from their own bodies.
Somatic yoga rebuilds the lost bridge between mind and body, helping you feel more “inside” yourself again. - Encourages self-compassion:
Unlike fast or competitive practices, somatic yoga invites you to honor exactly where you are.
There is no need to “do it right” — just to be with yourself, as you are, with gentleness. - Mobilizes stagnant energy:
Grief is heavy. Somatic yoga’s soft flows and mindful micro-movements help mobilize trapped emotional energy without overwhelming you.
A Simple Practice to Try
Child’s Pose with Breath Awareness
Kneel on the floor, bringing your big toes together and letting your knees spread apart.
Fold forward, arms stretched in front of you or resting alongside your body.
Rest your forehead on the ground or a cushion.Breathe into the back of your ribs.
Imagine the earth receiving your weight, your grief, your tiredness.
Stay for at least 2-5 minutes, or longer if it feels good.
This simple shape can sometimes unlock deep waves of emotion — sadness, tenderness, or unexpected peace.
Important: If at any point the emotions feel too strong, gently come out of the pose, place your hands on your heart, and affirm:
“I am safe. I can go slowly. I can come back to this whenever I’m ready.”
Guided sessions
You can also let yourself be guided through the practice. There are many free sessions on YouTube. Explore different channels and see what resonates most.
A personal favourite of mine is this short practice for releasing grief from Manuela Mitevova: https://youtu.be/Hn4AmZE1EJo?si=XzZWfg34qt7GUQri (not sponsored).
Finding Healing Through Contact With Nature
When grief and anger live in the body, sometimes words aren\’t enough.
Nature — raw, alive, unjudging — can hold emotions too big or too old for language.
Stepping into a natural space, even a small park or a patch of grass, can create the conditions for healing that talking, analyzing, or “figuring it out” often cannot.
How Nature Supports Emotional Healing
- Co-regulation with the Earth:
Your nervous system is constantly looking for cues of safety.
Nature offers a steady, living field of regulation — the rustling of leaves, the solidity of the earth beneath your feet, the rhythmic lapping of water.
Even a few minutes outside can help shift your body toward calm and connection. - Permission to Be As You Are:
The trees do not judge your anger.
The wind does not rush your grief.
Nature provides an unconditional presence where you can be messy, broken, tender, and real. - Remembering Your Belonging:
Grief often feels like exile — from the past, from loved ones, from yourself.
Nature gently reminds you:
You still belong. You are part of something larger that continues to hold you. - Movement That Doesn\’t Feel Forced:
Walking outdoors, even slowly, offers a rhythm that helps metabolize emotions.
There is no performance in walking among trees, no achievement.
Just a gentle return to motion, breath, life.
Simple Ways to Connect with Nature During Grief
- Grounding Walk:
Leave your phone behind. Walk without a goal.
Notice the sensations under your feet, the temperature of the air, the color of the sky.
Let your body set the pace, even if it’s slow or stopping often. - Sit with a Tree:
Find a tree you feel drawn to.
Sit at its base, leaning your back against the trunk if possible.
Feel its ancient strength behind you.
You can breathe your anger into the earth, or simply let it exist without needing to change it. - Tending a Small Plant:
If getting outside isn’t possible, tending a houseplant — watering it, touching its leaves — can also create a small ritual of connection and care. - Foraging Wild Plants: Foraging — the simple act of gathering wild plants — invites a quiet, intimate connection with nature. You can find inspiration here: The Ultimate Spring Foraging Guide: Edible Plants, Their Uses, and Delicious Recipes
- Barefoot Grounding (when safe):
Stand barefoot on grass, soil, or sand.
Feel the direct contact between your skin and the earth.
Let gravity pull the heavy emotions downward, even for a moment.
Nature doesn\’t ask you to heal faster.
It simply offers itself as a quiet companion for the journey.
Practical Somatic Micro-Practices for Moving Through Grief and Anger
When emotions like grief and anger are lodged deep in the body, we need practices that speak the body’s language: sensation, movement, breath, and touch.
These somatic micro-practices are intentionally small and simple — enough to fit into a busy or overwhelmed day, but powerful enough to gradually restore flow and integration.
You don\’t have to \”get it right.\”
The key is showing up with presence, even for a few minutes.
Micro-Practice 1: The \”Sighing Out\” Breath
When to Use:
When you notice a build-up of tension in your chest, throat, or jaw.
How to Do It:
- Inhale naturally through your nose.
- Exhale through your mouth with an audible, open-mouthed sigh.
- Let the sound be rough, messy, or even a little loud.
- Repeat 3–5 times, feeling the weight leave your body with each sigh.
Why It Helps:
Sighing is a natural reset for the nervous system.
It releases held energy and signals to the body that it’s safe to soften.
Micro-Practice 2: Heavy Hands Over the Heart
When to Use:
When grief feels unreachable, or when anger masks deep sadness.
How to Do It:
- Place one or both hands over the center of your chest.
- Let the hands be heavy, not light.
- Imagine your hands sinking through layers of tension and guarding.
- Breathe slowly, as if breathing into your own touch.
- Stay for 1–2 minutes.
Why It Helps:
Touch can bridge the gap between disconnection and felt emotion.
A heavy, warm touch reminds the body that it is still safe to feel.
Micro-Practice 3: \”Stomping It Out\” (Anger Release)
When to Use:
When anger feels overwhelming and needs an outlet that doesn’t harm others.
How to Do It:
- Stand upright, feet hip-width apart.
- Begin to stomp your feet deliberately into the ground, one foot at a time.
- Let your arms swing naturally, maybe even adding some vocal sound (a grunt, a breath, a wordless yell).
- Continue for 30–60 seconds, or until you feel a shift.
Why It Helps:
Stomping grounds the fight energy of anger safely into the earth,
rather than letting it turn against others — or against yourself.
Micro-Practice 4: Rocking the Body
When to Use:
When grief feels overwhelming or you are restless and can\’t sleep.
How to Do It:
- Sit comfortably in a chair or cross-legged on the floor.
- Begin to gently rock your torso forward and back, or side to side.
- Move slowly, finding a natural rhythm.
- You might hum softly if it feels comforting.
Why It Helps:
Rocking is a primal soothing motion, often instinctively used with babies — and still powerful for adults in distress.
Micro-Practice 5: “Nature Tethering” for Restless Nights
When to Use:
When you\’re lying awake, restless and filled with unnamed emotion.
How to Do It:
- Visualize yourself tethered to a natural object — a tree, a mountain, a river.
- Imagine a thread of connection from your body to this stable, timeless presence.
- Breathe as if you could draw strength and grounding from it.
Why It Helps:
This visualization anchors the overwhelmed mind and body back into a larger field of stability and safety.
A Note About Micro-Practices
None of these techniques are about fixing you.
They are about accompanying yourself — meeting the emotion in the body where it lives, without judgment.
Even a few moments of conscious breath, movement, or touch can shift the emotional current, opening space for grief and anger to move through rather than stay stuck.
Tiny actions, repeated gently, can change the whole terrain of healing.
Conclusion: Learning to Move Through, Not Around, Grief and Anger
If you find yourself battling sudden anger or endless restlessness, you are not broken.
You are, in fact, alive to your own healing.
Grief and anger, when they begin to surface after years of suppression or survival mode, often feel overwhelming.
They disrupt sleep, shake relationships, and confuse the mind — but they are also signs that your emotional life is thawing and seeking integration.
You don\’t have to figure it all out at once.
You don\’t have to \”do it perfectly.\”
Small, kind, body-based practices — a sigh, a stomp, a moment of heavy hands on the heart — are enough to begin creating new pathways of healing and resilience.
And as you stay with yourself in this process, you will discover that anger softens, grief finds expression, and life becomes wider and freer.
Free Resource: Gentle Somatic Micro-Practices for Grief and Anger
If you would like a printable version of the micro-practices we explored today — something you can keep close and return to whenever emotions rise — I’ve created a free downloadable guide for you.
It’s meant to support you, one small moment at a time.
I’d Love to Hear From You
- Have you experienced grief or anger surfacing unexpectedly?
- What practices have helped you stay grounded through it?
Please feel free to share your experience in the comments — your story might resonate with and encourage someone else on their journey.
And if you found this article helpful, consider sharing it with a friend who might need it today.
Healing is easier when we remember we are not alone.
Explore Further:
When Your Partner Shuts Down: How to Stay Connected Through Exhaustion, Loss, and Silence
The Healing Power of Stillness: Reclaiming Your Inner Self After Emotional Neglect
Tarot for Shadow Work: The Major Arcana as a Roadmap to Your Hidden Self (Part 2 of 6) + free PDF